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English lesson plan · 8th grade (Year 9 in England) · 60 minutes

Descriptive and narrative techniques

Writing & Editing

CCSS W.8.3.DCCSS W.8.3.BEngland: GCSE English Language Paper 1 Q5England: 11+ English (creative writing)

Objective and success criteria

Students will: Descriptive and narrative techniques.

  • I can answer questions on today's skill on my own, without help.
  • I can explain each step and say why it works.
  • I can check my answer and spot a mistake.

Before and after

Needs first: Figurative language: personification, hyperbole, alliteration, onomatopoeia; Expanding sentences with detail

Leads to: the next skill in this area.

Materials: A model text, Planning frame, Checklists for editing, Mini whiteboards, A short model text on the board, Printed student sheet (below).

Warm-up · 6 min

  • Quick retrieval from earlier learning (Figurative language: personification, hyperbole, alliteration, onomatopoeia; Expanding sentences with detail). Students answer on mini whiteboards.
  • Show answers together and note who needs support in the main task.
  1. Which technique is used here? Sally's six silly snakes slithered south. (simile / alliteration / onomatopoeia / hyperbole) → alliterationPrompt: Is it an exaggeration, repeated starting sounds, a sound word, or a thing acting like a person?
  2. The dog ran. Which sentence adds the most useful detail? (Dog ran fast fast. / The muddy dog ran across the park after a ball. / The dog ran and ran and ran. / The dog it ran.) → The muddy dog ran across the park after a ball.Prompt: Good detail tells us more: what kind, where, when or why.
  3. Which technique is used here? We waited for ages and ages — about a hundred years! (onomatopoeia / hyperbole / metaphor / alliteration) → hyperbolePrompt: Is it an exaggeration, repeated starting sounds, a sound word, or a thing acting like a person?

Hook · 6 min

  • Show two openings to the same piece of writing and ask which makes them want to read on.
  • Share the objective: Descriptive and narrative techniques. Read the success criteria together.

I do: model it · 12 min

  • Work through the example out loud, saying why you do each step, not just what you do.
  • Example: Plain: Mum was angry. Which revision best SHOWS rather than tells?
  • Step 1: Show, don't tell: let precise details and imagery create the effect.
  • Step 2: So the answer is: Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard.
  • Answer: Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard.
  • Pause after each step and ask a student to say what comes next.

We do: guided practice · 12 min

  • Do these together. Students try each step on whiteboards before you reveal it.
  • Use the hints as prompts rather than giving the answer.
  1. Plain: The beach was nice. Which revision uses the senses most effectively? (Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze. / It was a very nice, good beach. / The beach was really nice. / The beach was a nice place to go.) → Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze.Prompt: Strong description uses precise verbs, sensory details and imagery.
  2. Plain: He walked into the room. Which revision uses the most precise verb? (He went into the room. / He walked into the room quickly slowly. / He crept into the room. / He did walk into the room.) → He crept into the room.Prompt: Strong description uses precise verbs, sensory details and imagery.

You do: independent practice · 17 min

  • Students work on the student sheet. Circulate and check the first two answers of every student early.
  • Students who finish: write a question of their own for a partner, with the answer.

The 5 questions are on the student sheet below, with answers in the key.

Exit ticket · 7 min

  • Two questions on their own. Sort answers into got it / nearly / not yet to plan the next lesson.
  1. Plain: Mum was angry. Which revision best SHOWS rather than tells? (Mum was cross and angry. / Mum was very angry indeed. / Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard. / Mum felt anger.) → Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard.Prompt: Strong description uses precise verbs, sensory details and imagery.
  2. Plain: The beach was nice. Which revision uses the senses most effectively? (It was a very nice, good beach. / The beach was really nice. / The beach was a nice place to go. / Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze.) → Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze.Prompt: Strong description uses precise verbs, sensory details and imagery.

Watch out for

  • Writing everything at once without planning.
  • Editing only spelling and not whether the writing makes sense.

Support and stretch

Support

  • Review first: Figurative language: personification, hyperbole, alliteration, onomatopoeia.
  • Use concrete materials: a model text.
  • Give the first step of each question, or a partly worked example to finish.
  • Pair with a confident partner for the guided practice.

Stretch

  • Explain a common mistake in writing and how to fix it.
  • Write a word problem that uses today's skill, then solve a partner's.

Homework and more practice

Free online practice with hints and printable worksheets for this skill: eurekami.com/english/grade-8.

Free lesson plan from eurekami.com/lesson-plan-builder

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Descriptive and narrative techniques

Name

Date

Score/ 5

  1. Question 1

    Plain: Mum was angry. Which revision best SHOWS rather than tells?

    • A. Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard.
    • B. Mum felt anger.
    • C. Mum was cross and angry.
    • D. Mum was very angry indeed.

  2. Question 2

    Plain: He walked into the room. Which revision uses the most precise verb?

    • A. He walked into the room quickly slowly.
    • B. He did walk into the room.
    • C. He went into the room.
    • D. He crept into the room.

  3. Question 3

    Plain: The forest was scary. Which revision best SHOWS rather than tells?

    • A. Twisted branches clawed at the sky, and somewhere in the dark a twig snapped.
    • B. The forest was very, very scary.
    • C. The forest was scary and frightening.
    • D. I thought the forest was really scary.

  4. Question 4

    A story opening needs to hook the reader. Which opening is most engaging?

    • A. One day I woke up and had breakfast.
    • B. This is a story about a girl.
    • C. Once there was a house. It was a house.
    • D. Nobody had opened the attic door in forty years — until Tuesday.

  5. Question 5

    Plain: The beach was nice. Which revision uses the senses most effectively?

    • A. Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze.
    • B. The beach was really nice.
    • C. It was a very nice, good beach.
    • D. The beach was a nice place to go.

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Answer key: Descriptive and narrative techniques

  1. 1. A. Mum's lips pressed into a thin line, and she set her mug down a little too hard.

  2. 2. D. He crept into the room.

  3. 3. A. Twisted branches clawed at the sky, and somewhere in the dark a twig snapped.

  4. 4. D. Nobody had opened the attic door in forty years — until Tuesday.

  5. 5. A. Warm sand sifted between my toes as gulls cried above the salty breeze.