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English lesson plan · 7th grade (Year 8 in England) · 45 minutes

Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

Writing & Editing

CCSS L.7.3.AEngland: KS3 WritingEngland: ACT English (Concision)England: SAT Reading and Writing

Objective and success criteria

Students will: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy.

  • I can answer questions on today's skill on my own, without help.
  • I can explain each step and say why it works.
  • I can check my answer and spot a mistake.

Before and after

Needs first: Fragments and run-on sentences

Leads to: Style, tone and word choice (ACT English); ACT-style editing: NO CHANGE or a better option?

Materials: A model text, Planning frame, Checklists for editing, Mini whiteboards, A short model text on the board, Printed student sheet (below).

Warm-up · 5 min

  • Quick retrieval from earlier learning (Fragments and run-on sentences). Students answer on mini whiteboards.
  • Show answers together and note who needs support in the main task.
  1. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? Which was the best day of the holiday. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → fragmentPrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?
  2. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? The shop opens at nine; it closes at six. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → correct sentencePrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?
  3. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? The cake was delicious, everyone wanted another slice. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → run-onPrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?

Hook · 5 min

  • Show two openings to the same piece of writing and ask which makes them want to read on.
  • Share the objective: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy. Read the success criteria together.

I do: model it · 10 min

  • Work through the example out loud, saying why you do each step, not just what you do.
  • Example: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning. Which revision is the most concise?
  • Step 1: Concise writing removes redundancy and wordy phrases without losing meaning.
  • Step 2: 'a.m.' already means 'in the morning', so the phrase is redundant.
  • Step 3: So the answer is: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.
  • Answer: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.
  • Pause after each step and ask a student to say what comes next.

We do: guided practice · 10 min

  • Do these together. Students try each step on whiteboards before you reveal it.
  • Use the hints as prompts rather than giving the answer.
  1. She returned back to the house in order to collect her keys. Which revision is the most concise? (She returned back home to the house in order to collect her keys. / She returned to the house to collect her keys. / She went and returned back to the house to collect her keys. / She returned back to the house to collect her keys.) → She returned to the house to collect her keys.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.
  2. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning. Which revision is the most concise? (The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning time. / The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. / In the morning at 9 a.m. the meeting will begin then. / The meeting, at 9 a.m. in the morning, will begin.) → The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.

You do: independent practice · 10 min

  • Students work on the student sheet. Circulate and check the first two answers of every student early.
  • Students who finish: write a question of their own for a partner, with the answer.

The 6 questions are on the student sheet below, with answers in the key.

Exit ticket · 5 min

  • Two questions on their own. Sort answers into got it / nearly / not yet to plan the next lesson.
  1. In my personal opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. Which revision is the most concise? (I think the new library is unique. / In my opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. / I personally think in my opinion that the library is unique. / Personally, in my opinion, the new library is unique.) → I think the new library is unique.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.
  2. Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until a later date. Which revision is the most concise? (Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until later. / Because of the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed to a later date. / Owing to the rain that was falling, the match was postponed until a later date in time. / Because it was raining, the match was postponed.) → Because it was raining, the match was postponed.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.

Watch out for

  • Writing everything at once without planning.
  • Editing only spelling and not whether the writing makes sense.

Support and stretch

Support

  • Review first: Fragments and run-on sentences.
  • Use concrete materials: a model text.
  • Give the first step of each question, or a partly worked example to finish.
  • Pair with a confident partner for the guided practice.

Stretch

  • Move on to: Style, tone and word choice (ACT English); ACT-style editing: NO CHANGE or a better option?.
  • Explain a common mistake in writing and how to fix it.
  • Write a word problem that uses today's skill, then solve a partner's.

Homework and more practice

Free online practice with hints and printable worksheets for this skill: eurekami.com/english/grade-7.

Free lesson plan from eurekami.com/lesson-plan-builder

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Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

Name

Date

Score/ 6

  1. Question 1

    She returned back to the house in order to collect her keys. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. She returned to the house to collect her keys.
    • B. She returned back to the house to collect her keys.
    • C. She went and returned back to the house to collect her keys.
    • D. She returned back home to the house in order to collect her keys.

  2. Question 2

    The two twins look exactly identical to each other. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The two twins look identical to each other.
    • B. The twins look exactly identical.
    • C. The twins look identical.
    • D. The two twins look exactly the same identical.

  3. Question 3

    The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning time.
    • B. In the morning at 9 a.m. the meeting will begin then.
    • C. The meeting, at 9 a.m. in the morning, will begin.
    • D. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.

  4. Question 4

    In my personal opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. I personally think in my opinion that the library is unique.
    • B. In my opinion, I think that the new library is very unique.
    • C. Personally, in my opinion, the new library is unique.
    • D. I think the new library is unique.

  5. Question 5

    The scientists worked together collaboratively on a joint project. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The scientists, working together, collaborated jointly.
    • B. The scientists worked together collaboratively on a project.
    • C. The scientists collaborated together on a joint project.
    • D. The scientists collaborated on a project.

  6. Question 6

    Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until a later date. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until later.
    • B. Because of the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed to a later date.
    • C. Because it was raining, the match was postponed.
    • D. Owing to the rain that was falling, the match was postponed until a later date in time.

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Answer key: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

  1. 1. A. She returned to the house to collect her keys.

  2. 2. C. The twins look identical.

  3. 3. D. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.

  4. 4. D. I think the new library is unique.

  5. 5. D. The scientists collaborated on a project.

  6. 6. C. Because it was raining, the match was postponed.