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English lesson plan · 7th grade (Year 8 in England) · 30 minutes

Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

Writing & Editing

CCSS L.7.3.AEngland: KS3 WritingEngland: ACT English (Concision)England: SAT Reading and Writing

Objective and success criteria

Students will: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy.

  • I can answer questions on today's skill on my own, without help.
  • I can explain each step and say why it works.
  • I can check my answer and spot a mistake.

Before and after

Needs first: Fragments and run-on sentences

Leads to: Style, tone and word choice (ACT English); ACT-style editing: NO CHANGE or a better option?

Materials: A model text, Planning frame, Checklists for editing, Mini whiteboards, A short model text on the board, Printed student sheet (below).

Warm-up · 4 min

  • Quick retrieval from earlier learning (Fragments and run-on sentences). Students answer on mini whiteboards.
  • Show answers together and note who needs support in the main task.
  1. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? I love swimming it is the thing I enjoy most. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → run-onPrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?
  2. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? Running down the hill towards the river. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → fragmentPrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?
  3. Is this a fragment, a run-on, or a correct sentence? Which was the best day of the holiday. (fragment / run-on / correct sentence) → fragmentPrompt: Does it have a main clause (a subject and verb that can stand alone)?

Hook · 3 min

  • Show two openings to the same piece of writing and ask which makes them want to read on.
  • Share the objective: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy. Read the success criteria together.

I do: model it · 7 min

  • Work through the example out loud, saying why you do each step, not just what you do.
  • Example: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning. Which revision is the most concise?
  • Step 1: Concise writing removes redundancy and wordy phrases without losing meaning.
  • Step 2: 'a.m.' already means 'in the morning', so the phrase is redundant.
  • Step 3: So the answer is: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.
  • Answer: The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.
  • Pause after each step and ask a student to say what comes next.

We do: guided practice · 6 min

  • Do these together. Students try each step on whiteboards before you reveal it.
  • Use the hints as prompts rather than giving the answer.
  1. In my personal opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. Which revision is the most concise? (I personally think in my opinion that the library is unique. / Personally, in my opinion, the new library is unique. / In my opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. / I think the new library is unique.) → I think the new library is unique.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.
  2. Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until a later date. Which revision is the most concise? (Owing to the rain that was falling, the match was postponed until a later date in time. / Because it was raining, the match was postponed. / Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until later. / Because of the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed to a later date.) → Because it was raining, the match was postponed.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.

You do: independent practice · 7 min

  • Students work on the student sheet. Circulate and check the first two answers of every student early.
  • Students who finish: write a question of their own for a partner, with the answer.

The 6 questions are on the student sheet below, with answers in the key.

Exit ticket · 3 min

  • Two questions on their own. Sort answers into got it / nearly / not yet to plan the next lesson.
  1. In my personal opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. Which revision is the most concise? (Personally, in my opinion, the new library is unique. / In my opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. / I personally think in my opinion that the library is unique. / I think the new library is unique.) → I think the new library is unique.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.
  2. The scientists worked together collaboratively on a joint project. Which revision is the most concise? (The scientists worked together collaboratively on a project. / The scientists collaborated on a project. / The scientists collaborated together on a joint project. / The scientists, working together, collaborated jointly.) → The scientists collaborated on a project.Prompt: Look for words that repeat an idea already expressed.

Watch out for

  • Writing everything at once without planning.
  • Editing only spelling and not whether the writing makes sense.

Support and stretch

Support

  • Review first: Fragments and run-on sentences.
  • Use concrete materials: a model text.
  • Give the first step of each question, or a partly worked example to finish.
  • Pair with a confident partner for the guided practice.

Stretch

  • Move on to: Style, tone and word choice (ACT English); ACT-style editing: NO CHANGE or a better option?.
  • Explain a common mistake in writing and how to fix it.
  • Write a word problem that uses today's skill, then solve a partner's.

Homework and more practice

Free online practice with hints and printable worksheets for this skill: eurekami.com/english/grade-7.

Free lesson plan from eurekami.com/lesson-plan-builder

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Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

Name

Date

Score/ 6

  1. Question 1

    She returned back to the house in order to collect her keys. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. She returned to the house to collect her keys.
    • B. She went and returned back to the house to collect her keys.
    • C. She returned back to the house to collect her keys.
    • D. She returned back home to the house in order to collect her keys.

  2. Question 2

    Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until a later date. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. Because it was raining, the match was postponed.
    • B. Owing to the rain that was falling, the match was postponed until a later date in time.
    • C. Because of the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed to a later date.
    • D. Due to the fact that it was raining, the match was postponed until later.

  3. Question 3

    In my personal opinion, I think that the new library is very unique. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. I personally think in my opinion that the library is unique.
    • B. Personally, in my opinion, the new library is unique.
    • C. I think the new library is unique.
    • D. In my opinion, I think that the new library is very unique.

  4. Question 4

    The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The meeting, at 9 a.m. in the morning, will begin.
    • B. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.
    • C. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m. in the morning time.
    • D. In the morning at 9 a.m. the meeting will begin then.

  5. Question 5

    The two twins look exactly identical to each other. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The two twins look identical to each other.
    • B. The twins look exactly identical.
    • C. The two twins look exactly the same identical.
    • D. The twins look identical.

  6. Question 6

    The scientists worked together collaboratively on a joint project. Which revision is the most concise?

    • A. The scientists collaborated on a project.
    • B. The scientists collaborated together on a joint project.
    • C. The scientists, working together, collaborated jointly.
    • D. The scientists worked together collaboratively on a project.

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Answer key: Concision: cutting wordiness and redundancy

  1. 1. A. She returned to the house to collect her keys.

  2. 2. A. Because it was raining, the match was postponed.

  3. 3. C. I think the new library is unique.

  4. 4. B. The meeting will begin at 9 a.m.

  5. 5. D. The twins look identical.

  6. 6. A. The scientists collaborated on a project.